creationofwill | (no subject)

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An ash I know there stands,
Yggdrasill is its name,
a tall tree, showered
with shining loam.
From there come the dews
that drop in the valleys.
It stands forever green over
Urðr's well.

He's dead, and that is all he knows.

All he knows is one fact, that he is dead.

What does one do when they are dead? he wonders. It seems to be a very boring place. He is sitting on the branch of a tree, one that stretches up high, and stretches down low. He sits in silence for quite a long time. It's nice.

There's a blue haired girl running around the tree, going up and down. No, if he pays attention, there are more than one of her. How quaint. He doesn't feel that he cares for her, although he has no idea why. Occasionally she disappears; occasionally she reappears in a different way. "Why are you running, girl?" he asks, and she spares him nary a glance.

A door opens next to him all of a sudden, but he is not surprised nor shocked. He has a sudden feeling that he is never either, unless he wishes to pretend he is. He isn't a lot of things that he plays at. He wonders why that makes him sad.

"Get your ass in here, Kaoru," a red haired girl huffs and puffs at him, stomping her foot. "If you don't study, I'll beat you at math again, do you really want that?"

That door thuds closed, and he finds that he cannot stop raising an eyebrow for quite awhile.

Another door opens, down below. A black haired boy looks out, and Kaworu thinks that it may be love at first sight, except he thinks that he has met the other before. "You're dead," he says, as he looks up at Kaworu.

"So it seems," he confirms with a pleasant smile. As if that were a normal expression to have when accepting one's own death.

"I hate you," is the response, and that door closes the loudest of all. In fact, there is even a noise of it locking, before it disappears. Kaworu has no idea why that stabs him in the heart many times. He has no idea about anything, leaning against the tree, his legs pulled up so that he can hide his face and cry soundlessly. Perhaps he perfected that long ago.

The now familiar footsteps of the blue haired girl stops, and he looks up at her. "You have been here too long," she says. "You need to move on."

Without even a choice or question about it, he's pushed, and falls soundlessly without impact -

- and the rest is quite a blur, a new life moving forward over and over, until he's sixteen and going to school, bored of it as always. He's been having dreams lately, dreams of giant robots like the ones on tv, an a boy that he can never remember his face, only forbidden touches and just one kiss. He thinks it might be more interesting if all of these things were here and now.

But they weren't. So he taps his pencil against the side of his desk in the way he knows his teacher hates, staring out the window until he's scolded, scolded, scolded again before being sent out. He could go home, but he has not decided if that's what he wants to do, yet.

What direction will you choose, Nagisa Kaworu?

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"Nagisa-san?"

Serena ... Kind of got sent out of class as well! It was for sleeping in class as usual, and thank god the buckets were being used for something else today. Minako and Ami weren't here, it was just Makoto today.

She's kind of used to him being sent out too, but never for anything truly serious. The teacher just never liked Nagisa-san. He was smart, he was pretty, and he was clearly meant for things better than their little high school. Everyone knew that.

"Are ... You ok?" He kind of looks like something bad just happened, maybe he was asleep and had a nightmare? Though she couldn't imagine him falling asleep in class.

But she was the same, wasn't she? He even had a feeling that, perhaps, she was already performing those greater things. If so, it would be interesting to watch her at work~

Kaworu shakes his head and smiles. "Do not worry about me," he says. "Old dreams feel as real as memories, that is all."

Serena .... Totally doesn't understand! And she wonders if he notices that or not. Probably. He's a smart guy, like Mamoru except ... Smarter. Which was kind of amazing.

"Hmmm," she says and leans up against the wall a little ways off from him. The teacher is busy giving a lecture and so they probably won't hear her and Kaworu talking. "All right, but if it's anything you'd like to talk about, you know I'd listen, right?"

Of course they weren't friends or anything, but Serena was Serena and she was always there for people.

Especially hot boys like Kaworu.

Most boys were smarter than Mamoru, no matter what Serena may think. But try bringing that up to a teenage girl in 'love'.

"You're like that, aren't you?" He tilts his head slightly, his pencil tapping against the wall now. Tap-tap, tap-tap. "Always helping others, no matter what they might do to you in return."

Tap-tap, tap-tap.

He laughs then, a little too loud, the amusement creeping into his eyes. "That could get to you sometime, you know?"

Tap-tap, tap-tap. Tap.

She smiles, but it isn't as bright as usual.

"It doesn't matter."

Helping people was what she did. It didn't matter that it had gotten her burned before, and that it likely would again. All that mattered - all that mattered was that there were people out there who needed help, who needed someone to care, and Serena would be there for them if she could.

"Sure it does. If you allowed yourself to get hurt, then you couldn't help as many people, right?"

He knows how minds like Serena's works. All of them ready to save the universe, thinking it was valiant to go home depressed afterwords.

Screw that.

"..."

Serena ... Stares at him.

"Don't tell on me, ok?" She asks, "I'm ... Going to cut class for the day. See you, Nagisa-san!"

"What, you're going to leave me out of the fun?" Kaworu laughs, and takes her hand in his. "I'll skip, too. As long as we avoid the truancy officers, we should be alright."

"You don't seem like the type to skip," she says and looks at their joined hands, blushing just a bit. Cute boy holding her hand!

"What do you want to do?"

She's surprised at herself, when she doesn't pull away.

"You'd be surprised," Kaworu says cheerfully. "Try looking at my attendance booklet, sometime."

The only reason he was ever allowed to stay was his connection to G N X, not that anyone ever knew what it was. Flash the name, you had all the power in the world.

"What have you always wanted to do, but never been able to do because of school?"

Serena thinks! Or tries to.

Getting out of school and onto the street is relatively easy, but she's not sure what to do after that.

"I'm not sure I should tell you, it involves ... Stuff.

Let's just go play laser tag! I suck at that and you'll definitely win!"

"Stuff?" Kaworu asks, his eyebrow raises. The verbal capital letter there makes it rather interesting.

"No, no laser tag. If you skip, you can't go to the kid places. That's where the truancy officers look. You have to go to the older areas of recreation."

Hehe.

She bluuuuushes. "Stuff."

"Like where?" She's immediately curious, exactly like an innocent, pure white rabbit. She wants to know! Her sapphire eyes are wide and curious, looking at him with all the trust in the world.

"Stuff?" He repeats, in a perfect imitation of her own tone of voice.

He doesn't like questions without answers! But her face is funny.

"Y-yeah," Serena blushes, "come on, don't you have a girlfriend? Like ... Kissing and making out and t-touching."

She blushes, looking away from Kaworu and up at the sky, her face flushed.

"You're saying you have a girlfriend? Never pinned you for the type."

...

She gives him a dead look.

"Nagisa-san, stop messing with me, you know what I mean. I mean don't you have a girlfriend! I have a boyfriend!"

A ... Weird one but still a boyfriend. And you'd never be able to tell she had one but he was still there!

Sort of.

"I don't have one," Kaworu says. There is a flash of that boy in his head again, but he ignores it - it is not fair to come out in pleasant company, beautiful stranger. "Nor do I see the point of it."

Serena blinks.

"We can go to the Crown Arcade, I know Motoki and he won't tell on us, plus, there's never anyone there this time of day." And it's not like Kaworu has a choice, as he's being dragged against his will.

"But ... What do you like to do then?"

"Look at what businessmen do when they sneak away for the day," Kaworu say, his voice somehow both innocent and flat. "It really must be interesting."

"What?" She says, totally confused.

Instead of Crows, she detours to a Takoyaki stand, where there are no truant officers, just people having lunch.

"Nagisa-san, I think you need a girlfriend. I might have to go out and find you one."

Kaworu laughs. "I was trying to deter you. It worked, it seemed."

He shakes his head, then. "I am not the type of person meant for romance."

She shrugs. "I was hungry!"

.... Like she always is.

While the Takoyaki is being made she lets go of his hand and faces him, hands on her hips, her face determined.

"Everyone is meant for romance! Love is universal! You just haven't found the person who makes your heart flutter."

She takes both his hands rather suddenly.

"Nagisa-san! You can't think like that, ok? Please? Promise you'll have some faith in love, ok?"

Her eyes are so desperate and pleading -- can even Kaworu tell her no?

"Of course I love." He loves every single one of the Lilim with all of his heart, no matter how bad or good they were. "I just do not prefer to differentiate."

Of course he doesn't get what she really means - or he does, and he doesn't want to deal with her, either way.

"That's a start," She relents, getting her takoyaki and walking to a bench.

"I can't imagine my life without Mamoru in it." She muses, putting a piece in her mouth and then --

"AAA AAA HOT TOO HOT!"