(no subject)

[creationofwill]

Kaworu is feeling almost better from the last bout of being sick. He is seriously considering his medication at this point - it's not as if it affects him either way, but it's sure as hell affecting Akito and Yoite. Why he still can't understand why anyone would hold even a thought, let alone affection for him, he's never questioned it. That would be really stupid.

He's still too weak to even imagine the idea of going downstairs to order it, so he'll wait until tomorrow. After all, nobody knew he was supposed to still be taking them. He can just pretend that he was put back on the pills and injection.

Kaworu is laying on his bed reading, but he really has no idea what. He's more busy keeping an out to see if Yoite manifests today. He likes his days best when Yoite does. Of course, somehow he manages to fall asleep doing this - apparently not reading a book is tiring - but Kaworu will wake up when he needs to. He has faith in this!

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[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"Ah," and it's so good to breathe, to feel lips, "I shouldn't ask for things." This, of course, implies that he wants to. "Kaworu is against me and I can feel things. Why should I ask...?"

[creationofwill]

"You should ask," he says, "Because Kaworu wants you to."

[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"...Someone opened me up, Kaworu. Someone made me feel things, and live to have memories, when at first I didn't want them. Someone did that for me."

[creationofwill]

"That is a good thing. If this helped Yoite be who he is today, that is a good thing."

He has never been good at sensing what others are getting at.

[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"He was holding me when I died. When I became nothing, and then how you knew me. His arms were around me." Deep breath. "Thin arms. He's a small person. Very small..." His eyes open up but he can't look at Kaworu's face. "I haven't seen that person in a long time."

[creationofwill]

"Then I'll find him for you," Kaworu says. "Some way, some how, I will do this."

It would become the most essential thing until finished.

"What will you wish me to do after I have brought him for you?"

[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"It might be hard to find him, if he doesn't want to be found." Don't count on it, he means.

[creationofwill]

"I find everyone," Kaworu says, quite simply. "Don't worry about the maybes and mights."

[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"But I worry."

[creationofwill]

"Yeah?" Kaworu studies the wall, it is very different than any other wall he might have seen,

[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"If you do find him- I wonder what he would do. Meeting you."

[creationofwill]

"I have to wonder what I would do.

Meeting him."

Kaworu exhales, but does not glance away. For the first time in a very long time, those eyes are green.

"Will I be alone, then? Again?"

[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"Kaworu. Why would you be?" He's sincere.

[creationofwill]

The idea makes Kaworu move even closer; pullon fabric to get there, push his legs between Yoite's so that it's hard to get rid of him. "I've lived a long time, Yoite." hr's silent for the span of two minutes. "....13.8 billion years, to be precise."

Oddly, somehow, he trusts not to have a negative reaction to this. When did he - start trusting someone, anyone? Other than Rei, of course.

"I've... forgotten many things. But many are there, still, today. The first... the very first ancestor of mankind crawling out of the LCL. " Crucifying Lilith. "What they liked to serve at lunch in Pompeii..." Some made it away from the lava. Some. But you could say they left their souls behind.

"I'm not human but I wish I was. All I can do is watch from the outside. Always there."

[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"...It's a long time." No, Yoite doesn't have a negative reaction. Nor a positive one. It's something to acknowledge, and something that makes Kaworu, Kaworu. "And it's a lot of things to remember. I could never remember so much. See so much. This is because I am human."

[creationofwill]

"I do not know what I was," Kaworu says. "But I am human now. It is part of the bar's chosen atonement for me." He pushes Yoite's hand up his shirt to his heart. He does not mind the closeness.

"It does not resonate, at the moment. But now you can feel it."

[truthlike.livejournal.com]

"I can feel it. It's beating, and it feels like it will keep beating. It has a warmth. And a strength, too. It suits you, Kaworu. Having a heartbeat." Yoite leans forward, rests his forehead against Kaworu's shoulder. "Everything resonates, a little bit, I think. We touch each other. And then it happens again. Doesn't it?"

[creationofwill]

Now those are words to remember anc Kaworu hasn't run into any in a long time. He runs hi fingers through the strands of Yoite's hair, the colour a complete contrast to his own.

"It does. I'd like it if it always that way." Somehow, being as close as possible to the other felt far better than the sensations when he was growing up for the first time.

He doesn't want to let go anytime soon.